Friday, September 4, 2009

Pregnancy: The 9 month disease.

I actually think this post should be entitled:
Birth control- It's a good thing.
So, I like to consider myself a somewhat normal person, when under normal circumstances. I mean I know that I'm "crazy" but like the title says, it's usually a "happy crazy". But then I get pregnant and all common sense and sanity leaves my body, and in comes the real crazies. The kind where you know that your husband is secretly praying at night for the aliens to come back and return his "real wife", and if the aliens can't return her, then TAKE HIM AWAY from who ever is living in her body.

Oh yes, I have my normal moments, I can carry on about a 10 minute conversation, before you realize that I'm a little bonkers. And to be perfectly honest, when I'm pregnant I dislike about 85% of the population, so if you DO get a 10 minute conversation out of me, you should consider yourself a very lucky person (kinda like winning the lottery).

My housekeeping, dancing ability and parental skills are all deeply affected by this whole pregnancy thing. I happen to be 5'4 (the tallest female in my family) so when I bend over I can't breathe. Doing laundry is like a constant "hold your breathe" contest and picking something off the floor... well you just don't do that. My dancing ability is, well kinda not there right now. And parenting... seems way off. You know you are "sick" when you see your child drop a piece of food and just think "Maybe they are saving it for later". Oh well it only lasts 9 months.

Don't you worry about me though, my little cream puffs.

At least I KNOW that this behaviour is not normal, and I know that the END definitely justifies this journey. I just hope my husband and darling monsters realize that it's worth it in the long run.

Because at the end of one of these monster days, where you laugh, then cry, and occasionally scream you climb into bed and get a little Kick in the side from your "partner in crime" and you do know that it is all worth it. This crazy crappy time gives you the biggest pot of gold you could ever ask for or dream of.

You get one of these:

So in the meantime, I do apologize to all those that I offend, criticize, and roll my eyes at.

Try not to take it personally, it's just the baby talking.



KC Mom said...

Oh girl, you hang in there.

Amy R said...

Jen, we all know you're in there somewhere & we look forward to our occasional glimpses of the "real" you until the baby comes. And we understand. Because either we've been pregnant or we know someone who has been pregnant.

Heidi said...

Yes, it does end. It's the most happiest ending of all endings. Take a look at me: TOTALLY HAPPY NOW AFTER NINE MONTHS OF CRAZINESS! You'll make it. Hopefully!

Aby Runyan said...

This is an OLD picture of you and helps me predict the gender of your child in no way whatsoever!!

I am moving forward with the assumption that I am on the list of "lucky people" you like. I will accept no less.

I'm sorry but I find the "hold your breath contest" HILARIOUS. Remember, I'm not laughing AT you. I'm laughing WITH you. Except when you're not laughing, then it'll probably seem like I'm laughing at you. Sorry. Just remember this, when I'M pregnant I become NOT a raving lunatic but instead an utter moron. I am not making this up. As my stomach grows larger and larger, my brain function shrinks. By the end I'm a slobbering, snoring, idiot.

Laugh away.

luvs, aby

elizabeth said...

I love being called a cream puff. Just remember you're child's name: Grand Finale!!!

aLi said...

I can't wait to hear what kind of monster you're having!

Kara said...

You are a cute and fun crazy person - cream puff!

Sam Ransom said...

Oh I'm there with you. Just focus on the end result. What a cute snuggle picture by the way! There is a reason that we are given a desire to have kids and a poor memory of pregnancy!

Laura F said...

I read ultrasound... and facebook! Congratulations, and let's get together soon and be crazy together. At least you have an excuse! I'm just plain nuts.