There are some days where I just look around the house, at the monsters, at Adam and just think,"how did I get here". Not in a "AAHHH!!! how did I get here!!!!", just in a normal kind of thoughtful way. ( Yes I can be thoughtful... no laughing).
I mean I'm living "my dream". Maybe not the dirty laundry and the endless cleaning, but the loving husband and awesome monsters. This is what I dreamed of. When I was the typical 16 year old girl I would lay in bed and wonder if I would ever get the guy. If I would ever be anyones 1st choice. If I only knew...
If I only knew that just 3 years later I would find the love of my life. That to him I walk on water and make his world turn. To him I am the only woman that exists and my jokes are the best and I am the funniest. I found a man who could name 10 amazing things about me for every 1 bad thing he could think of. I only had to wait 3 years.
If I only knew that I would end up with a TRIBE of best friends for me. 7 little monsters that all have such distinct and special personalities. 7 little hearts that used to beat inside of me. 7 gorgeous smiles that light up my days. And 7 special souls that I get to be with for eternity.
Don't get me wrong there are frustrating days, bad days, depressing days, never ending days, but even in those times I can find joy because of them.
I do feel at times that I have lost myself in my family, and that I am more then just a mother and wife. That I used to be more interesting and entertaining, but I also feel okay about that for the most part. Even as I type this I can see how my relationship has grown and developed with my children. I used to be able to give the easy answers and now me and the big monsters have deeper, harder conversations. They ask thought provoking questions and sometimes get annoyed when I explain that they get to decide their stance on things, that I'm not here to sell them my opinion.
These kids of mine are pretty amazing though. From the oldest to the youngest their spirts are strong and they are so connected to each other. I love getting credit for this power house of awesomeness we've created, but I don't actually think it was us. I'll let you know when I figure out how we hit the jackpot, but in the meantime I'll just keep enjoying them.
