How Did I get Here??

There are some days where I just look around the house, at the monsters, at Adam and just think,"how did I get here". Not in a "AAHHH!!! how did I get here!!!!", just in a normal kind of thoughtful way. ( Yes I can be thoughtful... no laughing).

I mean I'm living "my dream". Maybe not the dirty laundry and the endless cleaning, but the loving husband and awesome monsters. This is what I dreamed of. When I was the typical 16 year old girl I would lay in bed and wonder if I would ever get the guy. If I would ever be anyones 1st choice. If I only knew...

If I only knew that just 3 years later I would find the love of my life. That to him I walk on water and make his world turn. To him I am the only woman that exists and my jokes are the best and I am the funniest.  I found a man who could name 10 amazing things about me for every 1 bad thing he could think of.  I only had to wait 3 years.

If I only knew that I would end up with a TRIBE of best friends for me. 7 little monsters that all have such distinct and special personalities. 7 little hearts that used to beat inside of me. 7 gorgeous smiles that light up my days. And 7 special souls that I get to be with for eternity.

Don't get me wrong there are frustrating days, bad days, depressing days, never ending days, but even in those times I can find joy because of them.

I do feel at times that I have lost myself in my family, and that I am more then just a mother and wife. That I used to be more interesting and entertaining, but I also feel okay about that for the most part. Even as I type this I can see how my relationship has grown and developed with my children. I used to be able to give the easy answers and now me and the big monsters have deeper, harder conversations. They ask thought provoking questions and sometimes get annoyed when I explain that they get to decide their stance on things, that I'm not here to sell them my opinion. 

These kids of mine are pretty amazing though. From the oldest to the youngest their spirts are strong and they are so connected to each other. I love getting credit for this power house of awesomeness we've created, but I don't actually think it was us. I'll let you know when I figure out how we hit the jackpot, but in the meantime I'll just keep enjoying them.

20 years of hotness.

T

he other day I celebrated  the 20th anniversary of the day I met Adam. Who would have thunk?

First of all. He was soo cute (still is, but right now I'm going back in time so you can get the full image). His eyes were happy eyes and his smile was perfect. I was introduced to him while standing in our chapel. He had spoken at church and he had this cute little accent because he had been speaking Spanish for the past 2 years.

Now we should clarify something here. I wasn't a super gorgeous teenager. Even at 19. I wasn't hideous, but I knew that my main selling features were my personality and my willingness to be up for anything.
If anyone wanted to go on a road trip, I was in.
Midnight activities, call me up!
All night hangouts sure why not.

So here I was this "average" 19 year old girl who had found a super good looking, kind 21 year old. Soooo here was the dilemna, how do I help him realize that I am everything he could ever want!?!? I knew this was going to be tricky, and since I was personality girl I knew my odds were not the best, but I was willing to go for it.


After our brief meeting at church the next real encounter came the following day at his dads house. His dad was a leader over our "singles church group". I assumed he would be there and of course I was right. I weasel my way next to him and the night begins.

We played alot of fun group games, laughed alot and started to get to know each other better. I thought "wow off to a good start". That evening when I left, I knew he was special. Like really special.
 Sooo I added him to our friend group. I started inviting him to everything my friends were doing. We were a more the merrier type of group and we hung out every single day and night. We all had Summer jobs that didn't eat up all of our time so we spent it together. So after our first week together hanging out we ended up at this singles dance. (It wasn't a date at all. We just rode together.) We did have one slow dance together, and I remember he said something to me in Spanish and I thought it was super romantic and I was excited to hear what he had said. I didnt want to ask right there, because i thought it would be awkward. So on the drive home I asked what he had said to me while we were dancing... (this is when it gets uncomfortable)

Adam then let me know that he wasn't interested in dating me, he felt bad, but he didn't like me like that... just as friends.  I remember this moment vividly. I remember thinking "I have a choice in this moment, and I better make the right one." So I LIED. I held it together and gave him a puzzled look. I  told him I just liked flirting with boys and didn't think it was a big deal, but that if he could not handle my flirting that was fine. I would just find other boys to flirt with.

Adam immediately went into super apologetic mode and felt so dumb. He reminded me he was just off his service mission and had not been around girls and had totally misread that and felt sooo bad. Of course he was fine with flirting he said, and once again he apologized.

After that we stayed in the car and talked until 2AM  about the girls he did like... that was a low point for me. I was devastated. Even as I sat there listening to him speak about these girls that he liked my heart cried. I had a smile on my face and I looked like I was listening, but I wasn't. I just wanted to be in my bed crying. Once again... the beautiful perfect girls get the guy. I remember walking into my house and telling my sisters that they can have him, he was available.

I then went to my room and cried... alot. The next day, I invited him to hang out with our group again.  I couldn't let him know I was effected by the previous night. I couldn't tell him that he it was soo much more then flirting. So I just went along with it. For that whole week we hung out. We flirted ALOT, the flirting seemed to be getting more and more intense. One evening he was massaging my hand and I realized he didnt let go. Another night at dinner he started playing footsies under the table. Every night he drove me home or I drove him home and we would talk for hours... but ONLY as friends, because you know we were just flirting.

Well at the end of that week I was driving him home and we were at a stoplight. He looked at me and said, "I can't stop thinking about you, you are always on my mind". (totally like out of a movie.) I looked over at him and calmly said, " you told me you just wanted to be friends".

After that moment I don't remember the exact words, but it was a lot of him explaining to me how over this past week everything let him back to me and not going to lie, I was going crazy inside. I mean lets be honest, Adam is the whole package. He is so handsome, kind, thoughtful, had an amazing smile, he is soo smart, he is an Eagle scout and honestly the list is endless. I just kept thinking, "and he wants to be with me". Pretty sure I went home that night and slept with a huge smile on my face.

Fast forward another week. Adam and I spent every hour we could together. We would sit on my porch till 4am and just talk, we talked about everything. It was like a dream. After a week he was telling me he loved me, which I thought was a little too fast, but I mean he was hot and I was all in.

Fast forward another week and he was proposing. He was really nervous and so was I. I thought, he's either going to propose or break up with me. 3 weeks of knowing a guy and getting engaged sounded insane, but I knew I didn't want to be without him.

So I said yes. In full disclosure, I thought he would change his mind. I thought well at least I get to be happy for now. But no not only did he not change his mind, we fell in love more and more leading up to our wedding. He has never held back on showing me how much he loves me and there isn't anything he would no for me. From day one till today.

I wouldn't recommend our path to others, but I'm also not going to tell anyone who they should love and when. I just know I'm lucky. very very lucky.

MIA

I am updating my blog. It has been 2 1/2 years, but I thought it was about time to put something on here. Maybe over time I can add in some important dates and events that I am now missing but I'm not hopeful of that, since I have kinda been MIA in my own blog for so long.

So here is where we are at:

-We moved last year, we are still in STL, but in a different house. It was not a fun experience and it stunk leaving the house that we had put so much work into, but it was the best choice for our family and we are really happy being here now.

-We added another little monster! Whitney just turned one and she is a doll. She slept great as a baby and has been just what our family needed. Everyone took turns fighting over holding her and she is a good mix of all the kids

DELANEY: Is now 4 going on 16. You can tell she is number 5 and she could be the most stubborn of all my kids. She can hold her own against any of them and still likes to cuddle up at night so I am happy.

PRESTON: Just turned 7! I can't believe how big he is. He is schooling school and is always great for them. He still hates all sports, but I'm hoping with age he will decide that physical activity is not a bad thing.

TOMMY: My 9 year old is still a sweet boy. He loves playing football, and has not been injured yet. He is at a new school and has enjoyed making some new friends. 

PAIGE: Is still as kind as ever. I have 6 kids, but Paige is my peacemaker. She will still do anything to help everyone get along. I put her in a dance class this year and let her take a break from swimming. 

KELLY: Is loving middle school. She wants to be involved in every activity offered and she is also doing year round swimming. She is now a "tween" which means I spend a lot of my time dealing with whining noises and eye rolls… I'm surprised they can't pull a muscle rolling their eyes.

Well this should count for something? Maybe I will even upload a picture later!

Laney has a boyfriend

They make beautiful music together

And if these 2 get married, their kids would be WAY too beautiful. 



Double Digits!!

Dear Sunshine,

Today you hit the double digits!! How quickly time flies my sweet girl. I still remember the day when you were born. 5 weeks early and 6 pounds even, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

People always tell me how sweet you are and how kind you are. You kind of just came that way. Our conversations are starting to turn into real people conversations. You ask me deeper questions, more important questions. Questions that have harder answers. Sometimes I can't give you the answers, but I will always try to be honest with you.

Life is going to continue to get more complicated for you. Finding friends that are keepers, figuring out your math homework and trying to decide what sports/hobbies/instruments you should pursue.

But never stop smiling. Life is worth enjoying. Even the hard parts.

Thank you for being a fabulous big sister. Probably the best ever. You can be in the middle of a fight with me, and Ms. Laney will toddle up to you and you will smile and giggle with her.

We always say "FAMILY FIRST" in this house, and you try so hard to live it. I know it's not always easy, but thank you for trying. You are a great example to your siblings and to me.



So if I could I would slow down time, hold you tighter, laugh harder, and keep you forever.

Thank you for being my first masterpiece.

Mom

3 Kids and their teeth

So all 3 of my kids lost teeth on the same day. And since our life basically revolves around teeth, I thought it would be smart to take these pics of my monsters.

 

Here is Tommy's missing tooth. He was really excited to finally get that tooth out.

 Kelly pulled out her own tooth and Paige had to have hers wiggled out.

Hopefully they will like going to the dentist more then I do.

Paige was a little teary eyed, because her tooth didn't come out as easily.

Happy Halloween!

 Here are all of the monsters and the neighbor monsters! Kelly is a sailor girl, but her hat fell off. I'm just impressed that they are all looking. I should get a star on my forehead for achieving this miracle.

 So Paige reaalllly wanted to be a vampire. But mean mom (that would be me) told her NO. She expressed her sadness to her good friend Brandon and his mom about her Halloween dilemna. His mom called me the Halloween grinch and before I knew it Brandon was at the door with an early birthday present for Paige...  yep you guessed it. It was a vampire costume. So it is only fitting that we took their adorable picture together. (Just don't tell them that we plan on showing this picture at their wedding in 15 year years).

 Here is our annual picture in front of the tree. I love the little cheesy face that Our froggy is making.

Little Known Fact: That Dragon and Froggy costume has been through all of the kids. The Dragon started out as a present to Kelly from a friend (oddly enough because she wanted it and I wouldn't get it for her. Huh? I'm seeing a trend here). And all of the kids on down have worn it.

What a good sport Poppy was. It wasn't easy following Ms. Laney around. She thinks she is one of the big kids.



And off they go! One house down only 4500 more to go. Actually they made it about an hour and then they all broke down. Kelly wanted to go hand out candy, Paige wanted to go home. Tommy said his feet were no longer working. Preston stopped accepting candy from houses.

 In fact one women tried to put candy in his bag and Preston stopped her and said, "No I am done trick-or-treating".

So we went home. I survived another Halloween.

Preston's Finally 4! (although he thinks he's 40)

Beautiful Baptism

A couple of weeks before Paige's baptism, my friend Amy Rahm took Paige out and got some amazing pictures of my girl. They totally captured her spirit.

 Love this girl and her twirly-ness.

Look at that sweet face

And of course one of Paige being Paige!

Here is my sweet thing on the day of the baptism

Had to get a family pic in!

Adam all ready to go.

This is right outside of the font.

We had fabulous friends and family come. It's always great to have them around.

Paige was over the moon about Crazy Uncle Willy and Sarah coming

Paige smiling with Nonnie and Poppy.

And of course we can't forget Grampy!!

Paigemonster

Dear Paigemonster,

Today you turn 8. Time sure flies when you are having fun, and I must say that life with you is fun. You are a joy in our house. You are kind and you share and you are a peacemaker among your siblings. You are the first to volunteer to help and all you really want to do is please me. And I hope you realize that you do. I am more than pleased with you. Just watching you giggle and laugh makes me happy.

I remember when you were a baby and you would cry ALL.THE.TIME. Then you turned 2 and you were just difficult. Luckily you were adorable, because you were a pain. You were picky and whiney and always wanted to have your way. But somewhere over the past 4 or 5 years you turned into a heavenly child. I can always count on you to pull through for me. If I'm having a hard day, I know that you will be my rock.

You deserve the world my dear and I hope that you always know how much I adore you. I love how you snuggle and how you have to give me 50 hugs a night before bed. I love how you jump onto my side of the bed when you have nightmares and hold me all night long. I love how you say you aren't girly and hate the color pink, but when we do your hair all pretty you sneak peaks in the mirror and smile.

 Who wouldn't love this beauty?

 Little known fact: She was the first Monster. She was such a little devil that I called her Paigemonster and the name just sort of spread to all the other children. Before I knew it I had a house full of monsters, but it all came from her. She started it all. So happy birthday my little Paigemonster. My blue-eyed beauty.

Love,

Mom.